Best Drummer Jokes: The Top 101 Drum Puns

Ba dum tss! Did you hear about the drummer who got into a fight with a guitarist? He beat him with his own rhythm! 😂 Welcome to the world of drummer jokes, where keeping time meets punchlines. As a lifelong drummer and comedy enthusiast, I’ve collected some of the most groan-worthy and giggle-inducing jokes about our percussive pals. So grab your sticks, set up your kit, and get ready to laugh along with (or at) the unsung heroes of the band!

Drum Puns In The Battle Of The Bandmates

The Top 101 Drummer Jokes

1. How do you know if the stage is level? The drummer is drooling evenly out of both sides of his mouth.
2. What’s the difference between a drummer and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.
3. Why do drummers have a lot of fans? Because they’re great at keeping time!
4. How can you tell a drummer is at your door? The knocking speeds up.
5. Why did the drummer cross the road? Because his hi-hat was on the other side!
6. What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless.
7. Why are drum solos like sneeze guards? Everyone appreciates them, but nobody wants to be too close.
8. Why did the drummer bring a ladder to the gig? He wanted to reach the high notes!
9. How do you make a drummer’s car more aerodynamic? Remove the pizza delivery sign.
10. What’s a drummer’s favorite number? 4/4, but they still count to 5 sometimes.
11. How do you know a drummer is at your door? The knocking keeps getting faster and louder.
12. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.
13. Why did the drummer get a tattoo of a clock? He wanted to make sure he was always on time.
14. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five: One to screw it in and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would’ve done it.
15. Why don’t drummers use doorbells? They can’t handle a steady rhythm.
16. How can you tell a drummer’s been using your computer? There are drumsticks in the USB port.
17. Why don’t drummers read sheet music? They already know what happens when they hit stuff.
18. Why did the drummer break up with his metronome? It was too controlling.
19. What’s a drummer’s favorite type of tea? Chai (cymbal crash)!
20. Why do drummers always carry duct tape? In case they need to “fix” their timing.
21. What do drummers call their children? Cymbal-ings.
22. How do drummers say hello? “Nice to beat you!”
23. What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
24. Why did the drummer sleep with a metronome? He needed his beauty rest in perfect time.
25. How does a drummer communicate? Through percussionality!
26. What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond? Eventually, the bond will mature and make money.
27. Why don’t drummers go camping? They’re always afraid of missing the “beat.”
28. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted.
29. How can you tell a drummer is following you? You can hear the offbeat footsteps.
30. What’s a drummer’s favorite bird? A beat-eagle.
31. Why did the drummer fail out of school? He couldn’t find his rhythm with his studies.
32. How does a drummer start a race? “One, two, one-two-three-four!”
33. What do you get when you cross a drummer with a guitarist? A really bad band.
34. How do drummers exercise? They play heavy metal!
35. Why was the drummer always calm? He knew how to stick with it.
36. Why don’t drummers ever get lost? They just follow the beat!
37. How do you call a drummer’s attention? “Hey, wake up!”
38. What’s a drummer’s favorite fish? Bass!
39. Why did the drummer go broke? He kept losing his tempo!
40. How do you compliment a drummer? Just clap on 2 and 4.
41. Why are drummer jokes so repetitive? Because drummers like to play them over and over.
42. How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They have machines that do that now.
43. What do you call a drummer who broke up with his band? Jobless.
44. How does a drummer cut wood? With a hi-hatchet.
45. Why was the drummer always late? He kept missing the beat.
46. What did the drum say to the other drum? “Beat it!”
47. Why did the drummer wear sunglasses? Because his future was so bright… just not his sense of rhythm.
48. How do drummers organize a party? They drum up some excitement!
49. What’s a drummer’s favorite sandwich? Drum-roll and cheese.
50. Why was the drummer so popular? He knew how to snare a crowd.
51. What did the drummer say at the comedy show? “I feel like I’m out of tempo here.”
52. Why was the drummer always tired? Because he was constantly beat.
53. How did the drummer feel about his new gig? He thought it was drum-believable.
54. Why don’t drummers play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always making noise!
55. What did one drumstick say to the other? “We’re in this beat together.”
56. Why don’t drummers play cards? They always drum up bad hands.
57. How do you fix a broken drummer? Use some percussion glue.
58. Why did the drummer get fired from the orchestra? He couldn’t keep up with the timpani.
59. What does a drummer say when he’s broke? “I need a snare-ing job.”
60. What’s a drummer’s favorite flower? A snare-cissus.
61. How did the drummer pay his rent? In drum rolls.
62. Why did the drummer go to art school? He wanted to brush up on his skills.
63. What did the drummer do after he finished a successful concert? He basked in cym-balism.
64. How does a drummer start a story? “Once upon a drum…”
65. What’s a drummer’s favorite cookie? Snare-o!
66. Why did the drummer get promoted? He took on more “percussion-sibility.”
67. How do drummers get around? In a drum-mobile.
68. What’s a drummer’s favorite vegetable? Beets!
69. Why did the drummer get a job at the bakery? He wanted to make some rolls.
70. How do drummers know what time it is? They check their hi-hat watch.
71. Why don’t drummers trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
72. How does a drummer get to work? By drum-bus.
73. Why was the drummer scared of ghosts? Because they always sneak up in the offbeat.
74. What’s a drummer’s favorite game? Pat-a-cake.
75. Why did the drummer fail math? He kept counting in 6/8.
76. Why don’t drummers make good detectives? They always miss the beat clues.
77. How do drummers spend their holidays? In perfect rhythm.
78. Why did the drummer get a promotion? He was always on top of the beat.
79. How do you keep a drummer from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
80. What’s a drummer’s least favorite month? March, because it’s always out of time.
81. Why don’t drummers like the beach? Too many “sand beats.”
82. How do drummers stay warm in the winter? Drumsticks!
83. What’s a drummer’s favorite pasta? Al dente-cymbal.
84. Why don’t drummers make good bakers? They always hit their dough too hard.
85. How does a drummer stay fit? He practices his “paradiddles.”
86. Why did the drummer bring a pencil to the gig? In case he needed to draw a crowd.
87. What’s a drummer’s favorite ice cream flavor? Drumstick.
88. How do you calm a nervous drummer? Tell them to take it one beat at a time.
89. Why did the drummer join a band? He wanted to “kick” start his career.
90. What do you call a drum that’s out of tune? A “bum” drum.
91. Why do drummers hate elevators? They always go out of tempo.
92. What’s a drummer’s favorite color? Beat-black and blue.
93. How do drummers keep secrets? They lock them in a drum case.
94. Why did the drummer join the choir? He wanted to add some “kick” to the harmony.
95. How do drummers greet each other? With a “hi-hat.”
96. Why are drummers great at parties? They always bring the “snare.”
97. What did the drummer say after his first gig? “I nailed that paradiddle!”
98. Why do drummers always win arguments? They have great timing.
99. What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend? Single stroke.
100. Why did the drummer go to jail? He was caught “snare-ing.”
101. How do drummers stay in shape? They beat around the bush!

Intelligence Jokes: Are Drummers Really The Dumb Ones?

The whole “dumb drummer” stereotype is a classic case of misunderstanding. Sure, we might not be the ones writing complex lyrics or shredding guitar solos, but drumming requires a unique kind of intelligence. It’s all about timing, coordination, and keeping the whole band together. That’s no small feat!

Now, let’s talk about some famous drummers who totally blow this stereotype out of the water. Take Neil Peart from Rush, for example. The guy was not only an incredible drummer but also the band’s primary lyricist. His words were poetic and often dealt with complex philosophical themes. Same with Tomas Haake from Meshuggah.

Or how about Carter Beauford from Dave Matthews Band? His polyrhythmic style is so complex that it’s almost mathematical. And let’s not forget Questlove from The Roots. The man is a walking encyclopedia of music history and produces some of the most innovative beats in the industry.

These examples show that drummers can be just as intellectually capable as any other musician. It’s just that our intelligence often manifests in different ways. We’re the ones keeping time, feeling the groove, and making split-second decisions that can make or break a performance.

You know, I’ve come to believe that being the butt of the joke might actually be a secret weapon for us drummers. It allows us to fly under the radar and surprise people with our skills and knowledge. There’s something satisfying about seeing the look on someone’s face when they realize you’re more than just the person banging away at the back of the stage.

Plus, it’s given me a thick skin and a good sense of humor. I’ve learned to laugh at myself, which is a valuable life skill in any profession. It’s also made me work harder to prove people wrong, pushing me to constantly improve my craft.

When you think about it, the psychology behind musician stereotypes in humor is fascinating. Every instrument seems to have its own set of jokes and assumptions. Guitarists are seen as attention-seekers, bassists as the forgotten members, and singers as divas. But why do these stereotypes persist?

I think it’s partly because humans love categorizing things. But it’s also about the dynamics within a band. Each instrument has its role, and these roles can sometimes be oversimplified or misunderstood by outsiders.

For drummers, I believe our stereotype comes from the fact that our instrument is often seen as more physical than intellectual. People see us hitting things and assume that’s all there is to it. They don’t see the complex patterns, the subtle dynamics, or the constant mental calculations we’re making to keep everything in time.

In the end, these stereotypes and jokes are just that – jokes. They don’t define us as musicians or as people. What matters is the music we make and the joy we bring to others through our craft. So the next time someone cracks a “dumb drummer” joke, just smile, give them your best rimshot, and know that you’re part of a rich tradition of rhythm-makers who keep the world grooving.

In fact, according to a study in Brain and Behavior in December 2019, drummers’ brains are actually better connected because of the continual and repetitive practice. This thickens the fibers in the main connecting tract between the brain’s two halves and allows better organization for motor skills. Which is why drummers are better at driving manual cars, right! 🤣👍

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Just like drumming jokes, drum kits come in many different forms and variations. Check out these articles for help on choosing a drum kit, the best drum sets for beginners, and the best electronic kits if you need to keep the noise down.